Canadian Single Girls

The strangest question came out of my son’s mouth the other day… “Mom, will you ever get married?” “Huh?”, was my intelligent response. His father has recently married his long-time girlfriend and now my son is afraid that I will be alone forever. What a thing to worry about! The general population hears horror stories of how kids don’t want their parents to marry someone else and spend all their time making the new partner’s life miserable. Such will not be the case with my little family. My eldest is rather worried that I won’t have a partner to share my time with when he grows up and leaves the house. He’s concerned that single parenting is tough and that a partner would make MY life easier. Can you imagine? This is love. My son loves me. He is not even a teenager and he is concerned about my future and well-being.

I’ve spent many years as a single Mom and for the last few years, very happily so. I’ve come to terms with my single parenting and truly I don’t know any other way! Yes, some days are hard, nights can be lonely and dealing with exes – exhausting, but all in all, I love my life. However, this is a relatively new revelation. I’ve definitely had my moments of bitterness and self-pity but now the wonderful days FAR outweigh the negative. This is how I now know I am ready. Ready for what? A partner. A date. The opportunity to meet men with similar interests and values and actually enjoy time with them. I can honestly say that until I hit this self-realization I wasn’t ready. Not even close. Too much of my past was dragging along with me in a very large suitcase on every date I agreed to (even those that ultimately fell through). It’s funny. With the marriages of the last of my exes, with this recent reputation smear campaign court case and the acknowledgment of my overall success, I feel a huge sense of release. Release of the past and the negative relationships that I was involved in. I love myself and will no longer engage in destructive choices. This is my pledge to myself. Now, let the phone ring. ;P

-Felicia

There we said it. Pity dates. Exactly what they mean. You’ve gone on a date with someone you would have rather not gone on a date with, only out of the sake of feeling sorry for the person. Stop and mull it over for a second and I bet you’ve all gone on at least one pity date. And if you think harder to high school and maybe your early 20s, you probably were the subject of someone else’s pity date.

It’s an ugly fact but unfortunately it is what it is. So why the heck do we subject ourselves to dating or being the pity date? Maybe it started out as a set-up through a group of friends and you feel obligated to spend time with this person now because you have mutual friends. Maybe you really like them as a friend but you can’t bring yourself to tell them you’re not interested in them ‘that way’. Either way, pity dates can hurt for everyone involved.

So this is where we turn the post over to you, our bloggy friends. What are some of your ‘pity date’ stories and what are your best practices to get yourself out of a pity date situation or prevent pity dates from ever happening? We’d love to hear your feedback!

If you’ve been following what we’ve been up to the last couple of weeks then you’ll know that we were running a Twitter contest to join us (Andrea and Felicia) on a double-date to an FC Edmonton game. Many thanks again to all the entrants and most especially to @Matt_Bisson and @rbfleming our lucky winners!

I had done this type of contest last year and had a fantastic time watching soccer and getting to know my ‘date’ @dmrego a bit better. I was really excited to do it again this year, but also to share the experience with Felicia. Too often we end up doing things separately for this blog and a rare opportunity to go on a ‘date’ together was one we couldn’t pass up.

A newbie to Foote Field I was thrilled with the location of our seats…right close to the field. We were there early enough to make introductions (not all of us had met each other in person before), liberally spray ourselves down with bug spray and get settled in comfortably. For the first half of the game I sat next to Matt (whom I had met once before) and we had a great time learning more about each other. Turns out we both like just ketchup and mustard on our hot dogs, we both like soccer we both have a somewhat favourite football player in common (Robb Bagg from the Roughriders).

At half-time we stretched our legs, grabbed some refreshments and then swapped places to get to know the other dates for the last half of the game. Rob had been doing his homework throughout the first half of the game, conversing with Felicia and paying attention to the conversation going on with Matt and I. Knowing that I love camping trips he recommended a handful of great campsites near Rocky Mountain House and some hiking trails as well to visit. We talked about our love for winter and summer sports (skiing and snowshoeing, biking and hiking).

And aside from having amazing conversations with Matt and Rob the soccer action was amazing! The Edmonton club was pitted against first-place team Carolina Railhawks, and although the local club lost a player and gave up a point early in the game, they were by no means down and out. Showing some fantastic ball control and agressive plays in Railhawks territory, FC Edmonton rallied back with a goal after 80 minutes of play.

I’m a big soccer fan, have been after attending the 2002 FIFA World Cup in Korea and Japan, and after last night’s game I’m fully addicted to the game here on home turf. Thank you to FC Edmonton and Focus Communications for the great opportunity to get out and have some fun and most of all thank you to Matt and Rob for joining us and having a lot of fun too. Double bonus points to the guys for commenting on my pedicure ~ a girl likes the little things to be noticed once in a while!

FC Edmonton Double Date Promotion

Thank you everyone for your responses to our first double date promotion! We are excited to say that we had enough entrants to do an official random draw! (Thank you to Andrea’s co-workers who did the honors for us.)

In case you missed our story in Metro Edmonton, click here to see the fantastic write up Shelley did on us!

And now for the moment we’ve all been waiting for….

Rob and Matt will be joining Andrea and I tomorrow for a thrilling FC Edmonton game vs the Carolina Railhawks. (I’m told this will be a great game as the Railhawks are in first place in the league!) Although I know the weather will not be balmy and I am likely going to lose a pint or more of blood to the local mosquito population, I am really looking forward to our dates! If you are at the game, come say hi and help the boys feel more relaxed – after all Andrea and I already know each other, they are the strangers!

Thank you again to @FCEdmontonNow and @focuscom (Focus Communications)  for sponsoring this date and to Shelley at Metro for giving us a voice!

Felicia

PS. Anyone interested in going on a date next weekend to Race Week Edmonton?? 😉

How does the headline of this post make you feel? Do you feel instant disgust, rage, understanding? Do you assume the worst or think the best? Can there be a good scenario in two or three-timing? One of our readers sent an anonymous question – what are your subscribers’ thoughts on dating more than one person (responsibly) at a time? My first thought was uh oh, opening a can of worms here, I can just imagine the comments from jilted lovers… Until I reread the question and noticed the – “responsibly”. Then I thought – IS it possible to date more than one person at a time without branding yourself as a cheater or worse?

This is what I have come up with on the subject:

I personally believe you can date more than one person at a time if the following “rules” are adhered to:

1. Monogamy has not been agreed upon.

2. You are not having sex with either party.

3. You are honest and fully open about all relationships with all parties should they inquire. (This is a sticky one – sometimes a party doesn’t think to ask about the relationship status but chooses to assume monogamy or not – it is important that you read the other’s intentions and have the “convo” at an appropriate time.)

4. You don’t discuss your other dates with your current date.

5. You only do what you are comfortable having done to you.

Personally I think these “rules” or “suggestions” should enable you to play the field successfully without hurting anyone.

What are your thoughts? Do you have advice for our reader on dating serially until he/she finds “the one”? Please comment below, I’m sure we would all appreciate it!

This final paragraph in a pof profile write-up, made me giggle! And yes, I asked for permission to copy it…this time.

“A man is a woman`s best friend. He will never stand her up and never let her down, he will reassure her when she feels insecure and comfort her after a bad day. He will inspire her to do things she never thought she could do to live without her fear and forget regret. He will enable her to express her deepest emotions and give in to her most intimate desires, he will make sure she always feels as though she`s the most beautiful woman in the room and will enable her to be the most confident, sexy, seductive and invincible. No wait…..Sorry, I`m thinking of wine, it`s wine that does all that, never mind.”

I can honestly say that I was really getting sucked into the whole romantic speak and starting to develop warm fuzzy feelings with my computer. Then I read the final line and I almost spit out my wine! 😛

It is profiles like this that really make me want to contact the author. Someone who doesn’t take himself to seriously (aka desperately), shows they have a good sense of humor (instead of just saying “I like to laugh and I will make you laugh too”) and truly took the time to find or remember the quote specifically for their profile!

Take note men and women and stand out from the online dating crowd!

Tonight it is very quiet, I can hear the rain, the guinea pig and not much else. I am spending time online (sadly my one true addiction) and started thinking about a friend that had admitted that he had a crush on me over a decade ago. This got me thinking about those I had a crush on in High School. (University I pretty much dated anyone I had a “crush” on so it was all good.)

At one time or another in my six years living in my home town of Peace River, I am sure I must have crushed on almost every boy in my grade. (For some reason I rarely looked above or below my graduating class.) Sometimes it was because I thought they were cute, other times it was because I thought they were hilarious and still other times it was because I thought they had a great soul. But in my six years of High School I never admitted to a single crush to anyone other than my closest friends. (Which really wasn’t very many people!)

Looking back and realizing how very shy and non-existent I was in High School, I am still sure I made the right decision in not fessing up to any one individual. (Kids can be cruel and although no one ever bullied me, I felt mostly unnoticed.) However, there is one person whom I retained a crush on for a good ten years. From the day I walked into my grade seven class until sometime in my first two years of college, I had the biggest crush on him.

This got me to thinking to today – would I ever tell him if I ran into him and the opportunity presented itself? (No, I’m not still crushing – I promise.) And if I did – what would he say? Would it be anti-climactic and he would say something like, “Yeah I knew.” Or would he be uncomfortable? Or would he feel like I felt during my friend’s confession – pleasantly surprised and flattered? Hmmm, guess I will never know as I really have no intention of sharing this with him but it’s interesting to think about.

Therefore I am putting this question out to you – our wonderful readers:

Felicia

SweetTweets

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